If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
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