Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
My penis needs a shock collar
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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