so explain again why im purple
no
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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