hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
