I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
