I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
