Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
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