Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
