They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Randomize
