all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Randomize
