Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
