just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
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