So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
