Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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