If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
