He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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