bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize
