I can't breathe out the right side of my face
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
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