Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
