I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
