nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
where does the pee come out of this thing
My pussy is not your playground.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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