i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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