Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
