They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
