Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
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