Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
this is an emotional support booty call
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
