I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
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