im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
