That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Randomize
