I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
