If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
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