Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
