once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Randomize
