i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Randomize
