i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
