hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Randomize
