i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
