your thong is hanging out like whoa
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
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