someone threw a dead crab at me
just come out here and I will go home with you...
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Randomize
