In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
