I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Green mimosas i think yes
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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