This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
I lost the right to judge tonight
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
