dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
