it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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