"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
they need to just BURY HIM!
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Randomize
