I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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