I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
