I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
