Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
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