Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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