She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
