Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Randomize
