just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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